Renewal

Welcome to the new and remodeled website! As per usual with these kinds of efforts, it took more work than anticipated, but I wanted to make a switch of host, and also to organize the site in a different way. How it was to be different, I wasn’t entirely certain of, but the form gradually appeared from trial and error and going through multiple themes. I noticed that the more stubbornly I kept to a desired outcome, the more problems I encountered. When I allowed the goal to lose some of its definite shape, the process turned more liquid, so to speak. This is, of course, true for most endeavours, especially when you are not well versed in the tools of the given trade (as in the case of CSS and general web design here).

The more rigid the form of the desired outcome, the more frustration is to be expected along the way.

Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean to let go of every single goal, merely to pick your “areas of frustration”. The backrays of desire can be hazardous if one does not set limits. Perfectionism in all areas of life will drain the joy out of it. I can attest to that myself.

I am happy with the way the site turned out in the end. The process also forced me to face my own priorities. What did I want from my site, and what did I feel I was supposed to want? As it turns out, journalling really is the most rewarding aspect for me. The side of the portfolio was pushed into the background. Through the journal, I feel that I can express and explore all my disparate interests, and letting that turn into a strength, rather than a weakness. In that way, I will use words, drawing, painting, calligraphy, graphics and whatever else to delve into topics and pursue my projects. The connection, if any, can be left to its own designs. Perhaps a snaking form will emerge to connect the stray dots in due time.

It is my hope that this approach will add to the quality and genuineness of the journal. It is also my hope that this approach can encourage others to follow their interests as well, however disparate and seemingly contradictory they may seem! Along those lines, I will wrap up with a quote by Whitman, taken from Song of Myself, verse 51:

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

Source: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45477/song-of-myself-1892-version

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